Duration 18:37

Learning How To Be A Traditional Wife | Tumblr Deep Dive

by STRANGE ÆONS

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Published 19 Feb 2020

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Comments - 9587

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@one_smol_duck4 years ago "Wearing too much makeup proves you're insecure."
"Here's an info-graph to make sure that you walk and sit in a graceful way, and a list of 25 things you need to do to be charming." 6454
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@cyberdinedog20974 years ago Don't tell me it's traditional marriage unless it secures military alliances between kingdoms. 15704
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@CJ-ge5jm4 years ago I know she said “trad wife” but my ears auto tuned it to “chad wife” 3159
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@imnotgoodwithnames41014 years ago "I will do whatever my man wants me to do because I love him and I am his wife"
c'mon just say you want a dom 2668
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@Fool_of_a_Toque4 years ago Wait, so cottagecore isn't about being a gay witch who performs druidic rites in the forest by night, and bakes delicious berry pies for her many lovers by day? Oh... 5126
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@clo_xp8264 years ago "I'm against kinks" yet continues to argue for a daddy dom lifestyle without the "little" aspect. "Do whatever he tells you". "Follow his rules". "Wear clothing he likes". "Grow your hair to the length he wants it to be". Actually dead from how ironic that was. ... 4031
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@Aquakaiba4 years ago The honest JOY I felt when I learned that the "My husband Jeremiah" blog was faked by a enby lesbian so they could get into a trad wife discord server? Is immeasurable. 1028
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@tartarsocks4 years ago It's so nice to know that after all this time, the "Husband Jeremiah" blog was run by an undercover non-binary lesbian. Absolute LEGEND 4714
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@marchhoney63294 years ago I feel like cottagecore is just gay people’s take on a woodsy traditional homesteading aesthetic without the homophobia, sexism and racism 8258
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@lilithjade43634 years ago “ladies, don’t settle for a man with no architectural taste.”
i mean, solid advice. 13945
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@trishalennex46304 years ago “Claims SHES bisexual bit has only dated men” okay but she’s still bisexual even if she’s only dated men, being Bi Doesnt mean you have to date both men and women it means you can 3686
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@Aceofheartless4 years ago This seems like.... a bunch of people who are craving a BDSM relationship but can't admit it? On both sides? 4621
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@lucyclare19034 years ago My ex left me for a tradwife. He told me I wasn’t submissive enough for him. Looking back, dodged a bullet there. 6086
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@ChrisLeeW004 years ago I'm a cis straight male, but the phrase "my husband Jeremiah is my whole life" makes me gag a bit. Marriage should not be domestic servitude. 4519
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@ijakerz934 years ago man as a guy I cant imagine being married to someone like this. I DONT WANNA BE IN CHARGE OF YOU I CAN BARELY HANDLE BEING IN CHARGE OF ME 8206
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@pruefus41134 years ago This is literally a kink.
The man controlling everything you do and "knowing he has your best interests in mind" or some shit. That's a submissive kink. That's a daddy dom kink. 1934
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@emiliew55534 years ago cottagecore is supposed to be wholesome and about wanting to own plants and bake and it’s all about what you WANT and not what you should do. it’s very soft and nice and the toxic tradwife shit doesn’t belong. 3292
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@shnoozezzz97524 years ago "Give her commands, not requests"
Me: Guy blinking gif 4798
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@confuqed64814 years ago Reminder: the "my husband Jeremiah" ask () was made by a lesbian trying to get into a TradWife discord server for the sake of observing the utter chaos and bullshit that writhes in that server ... 631
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@stupidass694204 years ago Yeah I’m a Tradgirl
T- tea
R- rats
A- and
D- my Nintendo 3ds 1994
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@ArtisticFleurs4 years ago I don't like these people mixing with the cottagecore community. I just want to live in a cottage and bake bread for my wife. 3673
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@annabelleeh4 years ago As a straight Christian, straight Christians scare me
update: i no longer identify as any of the above 5784
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@birdylady33324 years ago My mom made the priest that officiated her wedding leave out the part that’s like “You will obey him” 938
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@Luubelaar4 years ago "Have faith in your husband, as he always has your best interests at heart."
Yeah that's all well and good if you're married to a genuinely good, honest, loving person. Clearly this woman didn't come from an abusive home, with an alcoholic, abusive, narcissistic father. If you have one of those for a husband and I can 100% guarantee that the only person's best interests he gives a single shit about his own. ... 807
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@rossothelioma4 years ago u: tradwife
who she tells u not to worry about: chadwife 2749
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@Jennasw744 years ago This tag is so wild. I literally didn’t think straight people existed on tumblr. 6166
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@chillfactory90004 years ago Man, why want a house-wife when you can be a house-husband?? catch me making bread for my girlfriend in my binder and apron 701
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@lindacosta56883 years ago At 25, I was married. And just like this naive young lady, I thought I would follow the “biblical way.” Adore my husband, be available for him, listen to his wants and needs. Flash forward at age 50, my man of my dreams became a weak willed, spineless worm of a man with a serious drinking problem. I realized all the strength he supposedly possessed was actually what he sucked out of me. Thank god I was raised by a practical man who insisted that I finish college and be an independent woman. I had been a wife for so long, I had forgotten whose daughter I was. I found a good attorney and filed for divorce. Got my resume together and went back to work. Six years latter, I could not be happier. I have a job I love, my daughter is thriving in college and I’m planning to buy my own home. These women haven’t a clue. My advice? Don’t stop working. Keep your skills up so when your devoted man runs off with the secretary or nurse or becomes a alcoholic in 25-30 years you will be marketable and go out on your own. Stand on your own two feet, ladies:) ... 264
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@entr3_nou54 years ago Names like “Cottagecore” and “farmcore” throw me off because my brain wants to assume that they’re metal genres and all I can picture is someone like Phil Anselmo screaming about his life on a wide open range with a beautiful wife and children ... 5266
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@kidzoom2214 years ago Fun fact, there was a tradwife Twitter account that tweeted something like "sad that traditional household power dynamics are now immediately associated with BDSM," and then someone replied with the account's header image, which was straight up a woman in manacles. The reply? "So the use of restraints on a woman ubiquitously equals kink? Be careful about proving our point." ... 1881
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@cherry-ut6ig4 years ago I'm mad that cottagecore has gotten messed up like this. It's supposed to be about cute animals, baking, and picking flowers, not sexism. 150
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@artemisblake32414 years ago "Back to Tumblr, where we're safe" was never a sentence I'd thought I would hear ever. 183
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@jenniepoisson79194 years ago I wanna be a trad wife but like as a lesbian atheist, I just wanna stay home taking care of the dogs while making pies for my wife. 4787
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@spectre93404 years ago Remember that episode of SpongeBob SquarePants where SpongeBob and Patrick had to take care of a baby clam? And Patrick was an inattentive and lazy husband who let SpongeBob do all the housework and still take care of the baby by himself?
Yeah that's the lifestyle these tradwives are promoting. Not vintage cottagecore. They're promoting being submissive to what sounds like an abusive husband. ... 2867
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@edef12444 years ago I really don't understand the "guys don't reclaim the trad girl and draw her making out with girls because she was made by a nazi" the whole point is to piss those nazis off by warping their image of a "perfect woman" by showing her doing things that anger them. That's why boulderhurl edits are okay, because they are made to mock him and his terrible ideologies and comics. ... 186
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@KissKrys4 years ago When someone says womanhood I start having gay non Christian thoughts. 293
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@funnyvalentinedidnothingwrong4 years ago Every time I think of "traditional families" I think of the long lasting stereotype of tv relationships where the wife is a nagging shrew, and the husband is a moronic sexist. Neither of them seem happy, and the relationship seems to either center around the kids or pure spite. Bonus points if the husband is also a drunk, and this is treated as kooky rather than a serious character flaw. ... 2029
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@laurenswholesale4 years ago Tradwifes: "I'm against kinks"
Also Tradwifes: "I'd like my daddy to control everything I do"
sounds pretty kinky to me 9532
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@ohwellthathappened4 years ago "to walk gracefully glide smoothly"
starts floating 166
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@ashtonzeeman72434 years ago Can I just say as a man like "being the head of the house" and "controlling my wife" sounds super gross to me? Like no thank you 243
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@ohnoimsam96344 years ago My goal is to be the ultimate tradwife. My father arranges my dowry at 6 months old, I get married at 12, have 7 children, and die of the plague at 19 12310
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@chandler25814 years ago "You married the man you respect, now respect the man you married" is right up there with "America is great because America is good." 550
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@aydan93164 years ago I kinda wanna make an account, find these posts and say "I'm a tradwife do these things apply to me and my wife because I don't have a husband" just to see what people say. (fyi it's not true lmao) 225
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@brookesXD4 years ago I’ve got long blonde hair and live in dresses, but this makes me want to shave my head and escape to the woods donning a shell suit 104
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@carzxth4 years ago "I forgot about the lord for a second there." Is one hell of a vibe 4160
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@kagumiin13694 years ago Christian here: Some of the crap in this tag is embarrassing and vomit inducing as well.
The implications in some of these posts that men (people in general) can never make a mistake and shouldn't ever be questioned are despicable. Not to mention the baked in racism, sexism, condescension and overall judgmental tone. Marrying and respecting someone shouldn't entail giving up your freedom of expression (or your safety) and letting them step all over you. Y I K E S ... 4058
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@broadwaybibliophile18024 years ago "sit up straight"
Me, lying over my armchair like a dramatic unspeakable in the eighteenth century: oh. 93
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@mariaantoniainfante66204 years ago I believe a lifestyle like this is completely valid as long as you don't have a controlling partner, you're happy and you don't bash other people for being non-traditional. 158
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@Celeste_bowe4 years ago I hate how cottagecore has been jumbled up in all this. Like, let me bake bread with my girlfriend 11137
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@Jamie-wh3kd4 years ago i got to be honest some of these seem like they are written by men. there is a group of guys from 4chan who think writing posts like these will lure women into thinking the same because they think women are primarily lead into actions by peer pressure. LMFAO. ... 2872
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@indigosapphires47733 years ago That one about giving women commands instead of requests because women "don't need to think" literally had me gagging. This is the kind of relationship dynamic that gets tagged with dead dove, yandere, and manipulation on AO3 and seeing that there are people out there who actually think like that is just...
I
who what when where why how p l e a s e n o ... 41
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@artemisslingo2764 years ago ah yes, my dream life: have a marriage arranged while i am in the womb, i marry at 15, bare at least 10 children and die before my 40s 105
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@shannyong4 years ago tradwife just seems like the christian version of ddlg 4580
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@egg23574 years ago Tradwife needs to stay out of cottagecore/farmcore. Stop it I am a lesbian who wants to make bread with my wife, keep our garden nice, live in a cottage, have chicken, and you know I might do a lot of the house keeping but that’s because I enjoy. Edit: spelling ... 3688
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@Antony_Oscar4 years ago The Jeremiah one is a troll blog who got their friend to send them hate asks so they could eventually infiltrate a Tradwife discord server. 54
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@IMPofTHEGASsTATION4 years ago Talon???? Why would you name your human child talon?????? 337
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@jadezephyr4 years ago "Traditional" is drawing a random line through history. Like how far back would you like to go? The 1950s, cavemen, or unicellular organism? 3363
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@toastwell64884 years ago I’m not sorry but “atomic housewife” sounds like a weapon. 15310
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@fis73633 years ago They should try to become a wife in an conservative Asian household, and experience what a traditional wife really is. 74
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@courtneydurbin77603 years ago Hello :) I’m the weirdo from this video who made the list of baby names. Just found this video after almost a year. In fairness - I’m a bleeding heart liberal, feminist, bisexual woman, sex worker who just happens to be married to a man...when I found the “tradwife” community I thought the aesthetic was adorable and matched me fairly well. After a year of that tumblr I saw how the community was problematic and am mostly on the cottage core side of the internet.
Also; I thought my baby names were adorable. 😭 Now I’m embarrassed that 1.4million people have watched this and probably made fun of me.
If it makes anyone feel better, my sons are named Baker and Freddy.
No names from this list were actually used. So. ... 37
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@meangirlsenthusiast4 years ago cottagecore/farmcore is literally supposed to be a wholesome bean aesthetic with plants and baby animals and cute shit. not borderline abusive relationship and letting a man rule over every aspect of your life. this tradwife trend is honestly manipulating women into this. ... 773
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@lietz134 years ago "A woman who puts her family above everything"
aw
"And protects her nation from immigrants"
uh 463
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@Caio0_0574 years ago Normal Straight people must be so embarrassed about this 404
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@bringmeliara12863 years ago the whole "being polite is bad and choices will only complicate her life" basically translates to: "I need a good, moral reason to be a piece of shit human because self-improvement is harmful to my ego" 36
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@emilycheshire4 years ago Her lipstick is lit, let's talk about how her lipstick is lit. 3491
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@jupiterliam79614 years ago I feel so bad for that one woman who was "sad to say" that she wanted to have sex with her boyfriend, whom she loved?? I hate purity culture so much. I hate people who make anyone, but especially women, feel ashamed of their sexuality. ... 4093
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@fis73633 years ago "Follow his rules" "Don't be polite to women" "Do Whatever He Tells You"
It sounds like Fifty Shades of Grey bad parody 😂 44
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@Ilovemahmochi4 years ago Cottagecore is the old world family that lives in their cottage in the woods. Trad culture is the village that murders them in the witch trials. They are not the same 31
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@Lyw12345678904 years ago I feel like this is the conservative Christian's unhealthy interpretation of kinky Dom sub roles 3984
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@sofiaivancic17124 years ago You asked for a wife, not a servant sir 870
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@pluto80154 years ago The whole walking and sitting smoothly thing. My girlfriend is an absolute klutz and can barely walk and laugh at the same time without tripping, and I think it's adorable as frick 39
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@Lilacil4 years ago I'd pick being alone 10/10 times over being in a "male-led marriage" 49
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@ash-vj5vn4 years ago I'd totally be chill staying home and baking cakes for my wealthy husband and spending my days reading and tending to my little garden, but we would have to be equal. There's no "submissive wife" in this relationship. We both respect each other and we're both equal. I'll only bake you cakes if you're a good boy. If not, I'll leave you for the pretty widow in my gardening club because I'm bisexual and I do what I want. ... 2280
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@aliceedwards28614 years ago Me: no fear
Your name being on the tradwife baby name list:
Me: one fear 893
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@JordanSkinner31411 months ago As a woman who struggles with indecision for neurodivergence reasons, I would never want to be in a relationship where my significant other automatically made all my decisions for me. Do decisions overwhelm me to the point of mentally shutting down sometimes? Absolutely. But am I still a human being who deserves to have my free will respected and my opinions heard? 100%. I don't want it assumed that I'm incompetent, I want the person that I'm with to communicate with me and discuss things together, even if the outcome is sometimes "I don't know babe, you can pick this one," because sometimes it won't be, and I want to know that I will be listened to when I need it as well.
(I'm also a Christian and hearing the submission bullcrap from conservative-leaning friends has almost always been really triggering and annoying. As a neurodivergent person it's just that much more important to be seen as someone who's capable and worthy of being heard and it's Not Nice to be told that because I'm a woman, that internalized ableism is accurate. Ew.) ... 9
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@Roxality3 years ago I’m a more traditional minded woman who is college educated, but feels happiest as a homemaker. My husband is a leader, but he is kind to me and always communicates with me. He wouldn’t do anything I’m uncomfortable with. I’m a Christian. I do not support “trad people” who use Christianity as a way to spread hate, racism, nationalist, don’t support consent, etc. I’m not perfect, but I try to be open to everyone and I can only hope they do the same. ... 24
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@ashleyjohansson2304 years ago Conservative: "We want traditional house wives back!"
Gold digger with no job leeches off wealth
Conservative: "No! I hate gold diggers!"
Woman: "Isn't that what you wanted?" ... 730
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@thoraneh73654 years ago Honestly the whole trad wife thing really annoys me, it is something our generation has made up with idealism and rose tinted perspectives of history. There is a reason women in the 50s fought for rights and equal career opportunities. Maybe i am just opposed to this as i have seen the abuse that can come out of relinquishing your financial independence to your husband, but the whole thing stinks of naivety and idealism. Obviously abuse doesnt happen to everyone in these types of relationships but it is a very slippery slope to shackle yourself to someone in this way. You can have traditional family values without worshipping and being a slave to your husband. ... 1775
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@sophiaautumn2634 years ago I’m so glad lesbians reclaimed the cottagecore aesthetic 264
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@a.n.50643 years ago I feel like their husbands are the type of men who gag at unused tampons and arm hair 43
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@ravenclawesome90934 years ago I love how instead of a specific region, they just say "European".
Like, that is where they're from.
The entire continent of Europe.
Not Ireland, not Italy, not even Britain. Just... all of Europe. ... 556
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@danieldavies30924 years ago "I follow a non-traditional religion."
"...Does that mean you're in a cult?" 1277
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@arlequinelunaire4183 years ago A few of these sound like they could easily work as horror movie taglines, like imagine these being said in a Don LaFontaine voice:
"FOLLOW HIS RULES"
"Do WHATEVER He Tells You"
"You Married the Man You Respect
Now
RESPECT THE MAN YOU MARRIED" ... 8
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@Blindlyfollowingthewind3 years ago It’s all fun and games for the husband until he dies and his wife is having “tea” with the neighbors wife 15
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@cam46364 years ago "it's actually really feminist of me to let my husband make all my decisions, it's my choice to never make my own choices" r u sure about that sweatie
the subtitles at one point mistranslate "vintage style" as "vengeance style" and I could get behind that
if they just admitted this was some high-aesthetic D/s lifestyle it'd be way more intellectually honest ... 795
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@Gojosnutsock4 years ago I used to think I wanted to be a Tradwife until a couple of years ago when I began to really pay attention to my parent’s relationship. My mom is a tradwife, so for most of her life she has stayed at home and raised kids(she was 16 when she got married and now has 5 kids). My dad is very controlling as in he won’t let my mom wear dresses out, and he gets low key upset when my mom goes out with her sister(God forbid she ever goes out with her sister in a dress smh 🤦‍♀️ ) I’m pretty sure my dad has cheated on my mom before and my dad is starting to develop a drinking problem. Even with all this, my mother refuses to have an actual adult conversation with my dad because “that’s just the way they were raised”. My dad’s controlling behavior even spread to me and my sisters. My sister cut her hair short and dyed it red, and he continues to belittle her for it. When I mentioned lightening up my hair color, my dad looked at me all mad and told me I was crazy. I deadass looked him in the eye and told him that as a grown ass woman, I could do whatever the fuck I want with my hair. He also constantly talks shit about me doing my makeup and getting my nails done??? Cuz like it goes against his standards of ‘natural beauty’ or some shit. Don’t even get me started on the shit when I got a job. When I got my first job(at 18 in a shitty restaurant) I worked long ass days for very little pay. As the place had just opened, I doubled as both a cashier and waitress, and I was usually tired as shit by the end of the day. When I came home I was still expected to help with dinner, while my dad and older brother just sat back and watched tv. I asked my dad why my brother didn’t have to help and he got so mad he deadass told me it was because I was a woman and ‘that’s what women do’. I was livid so I stopped talking to him, it was even worse cuz my mom didn’t say anything. Just remembering what my dad has done to me alone, I could never imagine being in a relationship where I’m being constantly being disrespected and controlled in such a manner for 20+ years. I would much rather be alone and independent making my own money than look like a clown for a sexist man ✌️ ... 4564
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@wrenmassey68764 years ago Important update: the "my husband Jeremiah" person was legitimately a troll 31
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@mercygal13 years ago This is why kink education is so important. Teach people that it's normal for some humans to feel safe and relaxed when a person they trust orders them around, and that you can have exactly the dynamic you want in a controlled environment, with reasonable boundaries in place to prevent abuse. ... 4
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@lunatick97924 years ago A-choo!
Sorry, I'm allergic to the "women shouldn't think for themselves because God made them dumb" thing. 926
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@saraharnold5874 years ago “I am a subservient wife”
Kinky... 448
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@HisamiAilast year "Why is it so complicated to walk?!"
I asked myself the same thing after I slipped on air and crushed my foot for over three weeks. 4
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@FromRussia_With_Lovelast year It can't be a coincidence that so many of these tradwife posts involve weirdly specific Nazi tropes.
"Knowledgeable about her European roots"
"Loves her family, race, and country in that order"
"Raises her children with the knowledge that strong families build strong nations." ... 6
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@speakZarathustra4 years ago “Aborted her black baby last year”-excuse me WHAT 1385
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@Alex-cw3rz4 years ago "Unequivocally feminine" that sounds more like something you'd say about a Drag Queen, I guess they are the true trad wives. 453
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@guggelguggel74914 years ago Apparently the whole "mY HUsbAnd JERmiAH" blog was fake, and the creator's a NB lesbian who wanted to infiltrate the tradfem community, which I found hilarious. Edit: at ... 28
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@cicada.and.pomegranate4 years ago Those “baby names” are like NATO phonetic alphabet for people who don’t know the NATO phonetic alphabet 15
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@chocolatedoughnut13054 years ago This stuff low-key reminds me of the BDSM community, with all the "Do as he says, without question" but in BDSM there's such an emphasis that you should do what he says because you want to, not "Do what he says because your a woman and therefore below him" ... 482
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@jonathansuber15514 years ago Marriage is a team neither parties should have more power than the other in every aspect of it 862
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@juliettemoses88693 years ago “Uses so much fake tanner she looks Mexican”
Me (Mexican): well there goes my chance of being a tRaDiTiOnAl WiFe😂 12
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@savannahjenn15234 years ago I’ve actually inadvertently found myself in a sort of tradwife scenario. I work from home and my parter travels for work but we both raise our two babies together. These tradwife people scare me because the only difference between me and them is that I’m just going with the flow of life. My partner and I make all the decisions together. We’re both tops and both bottom, it’s nice to be bi and have your partner also be bi ... 14